28. Thank you, Dad!

It is the time of year, for me, of reflection and giving thanks. I have the privilege of having a dear father, age 102, who is also grandfather of my children, and great-grandfather of my grandchildren! This is the letter I sent to my “pop” this week:

Dear Pop, I have decided to let the people in my life know how much I cherish them. You get to be first! I recently pinpointed on a map all the places I’ve lived, and you were a supportive caring constant in my life all the while I was growing up.

– I cherish the memories of our visits to the farm, with cousins and animals and visits to the school your dad helped build, I think, and where our brother’s kids attended,

– my first school experience (kindergarten, where I waited and waited for the teacher to come visit, not knowing she wasn’t coming until the following week!),
 
– sneaking my cat into bed in Ann Arbor,
 
– and even that fateful climb up the steps to apologize to the neighbor in the upstairs apartment for eating her delicious canned peaches–that I couldn’t wait to show you when you came home that day!
 
– The cards and letters with X’s and O’s when you were away in the Army, Continue reading

21. Grandchildren: Limiting the Junk Foods

MS, IA, writes: “I worry about the “junk food” my grandchildren, ages 9 and 11, consume on a regular basis. I’m not sure how to approach the issue with my son and daughter-in-law.  I know they don’t always have time to cook the most nutritious meals after they get home from work. And I try to provide good meals when the grandchildren are at our home, but they don’t always like what we serve.”

I would first concentrate on what I can do when the children are at my home. I’d ask their parents what foods the children like, from fruits and vegetables, grains, dairy, and meats. I would simply say that we are planning to improve our diets Continue reading

20. As a senior, with the children grown and gone, should I downsize?

From Jean, IL: My children are grown and have moved on. I am a widow, and I am thinking of selling my home to downsize. Two of my children are making noises that things won’t be the same if their families can’t come to visit grandma on holidays. I think they wish they could visit their old neighborhood and their old rooms! Is it wrong of me to want to make this change?

Dear Jean, My opinion (and an opinion only): I think making a positive change that will allow you to live in comfort is a good thing! Aside from the financial savings and possible negative ramifications (selling the house may create a profit that can be taxed, even if you purchase a less expensive home–best to verify those issues with an expert), there are many other issues Continue reading

7. Helping children develop their own sense of self and be safe in this internet/facebook/social networking age

Grandparents have a unique opportunity to help their grandchildren in ways that busy parents may not be able to do. We often see an overview of family dynamics and can see the effects of the media overload, instant-gratification, but not-enough-attention, that plagues our families. Visits to “grandma’s house,” where we can take time for 2-way communication with the children, can be a rejuvenating experience that will help children as they interact with the world.

Goldie Hawn’s Foundation’s program, MindUP (www.thehawnfoundation.org/curriculum), addresses the onslaught of media, the effects of parents working and being away from home many hours of the day, and the resulting lack of ability and opportunity to focus on inner growth and self awareness. Continue reading

3. When grandchildren are far away:

Use technology to keep in touch:

  • Join a social networking site (never done that? ask the young ones for help!). Requirements: a computer, internet connection (suggestion: broadband from cable company), a photo of yourself or your choosing in digital format on your computer (download from digital camera)
  • Does your computer have a webcam? Continue reading