26. Grandparents: Keeping Your “Cool” with Grandchild’s “Bad” Behaviors

TR writes: My grandson (age 7) and granddaughter (age 5) stay with us after school 3 days a week until their dad picks them up after supper. I insist that they eat some of their vegetables, and sometimes my grandson refuses, the children get into verbal fighs with each other, I raise my voice, and my grandson stalking off. While I don’t go with the idea of “experts” who know better than we do, I feel bad about the situation getting out of control and don’t want my grandchildren to not want to be with us.

A couple of issues here:
1. How to handle a situation when a grandchild refuses to do what you have asked;
2. How relevant are “experts” to our lives?

“Experts” do have suggestions for making situations better, and there is lots of “expert advice” now available through the internet and through books and magazine articles. But, as grandparents, we also have lots of experience Continue reading

14. Is my grandchild ready for kindergarten?

ML from Oregon writes: “It is only February. I’m not sure my grandchild is ready for kindergarten in the Fall. He’d rather be playing outside than doing anything like his letters or numbers.”

Maybe it is too soon to worry. I find spring and summer to be a time for physical growth, and one can assume that mental growth is taking place, too. And playing, especially with other children, lays a good foundation for “kindergarten readiness,” see below.

  • How do his parents feel about his readiness? How comfortable is he with his parent/caregiver leaving him? Has he been to a playgroup or pre-kindergarten? Is he going to be one of the youngest in the class? How many students Continue reading

4. Six-year-old: homework vs. play time

Jean from NC writes: My husband and I watch my grandson after school until his parents pick him up after work. He brings homework that my son expects him to finish at our house, but he just wants to run around with the dog and a ball.

To begin, why homework at six? And how regimented is his school day? “Running around” may be the best thing for him, physically and emotionally. I like the Waldorf School approach (Wikipedia), where learning is through play until about 7, where “reading and writing” are introducted, Continue reading