Having spent the last few months staying close to my partner in life to assist her in getting to doctors’ appointments and work after an operation that didn’t go perfectly, I have found the internet to be a good friend. Putting other things on the back burner, the internet has enabled me to keep in touch with family, friends, and a world of information.
Reasons why the internet can be a huge positive Continue reading
LG, Oregon, writes: I was hoping when my grandson went to preschool, he would be interested in art activities, but he wants to spend most of his time playing outside.
Sometimes the very thing we want our children to be interested in is just the thing they avoid! That may come from the child’s responding negatively to a pressure they feel from the adult. This is especially true in creative areas, as creativity needs space, room, opportunity–with time to explore in a non-judgmental atmosphere. “Process” Continue reading
ML from Oregon writes: “It is only February. I’m not sure my grandchild is ready for kindergarten in the Fall. He’d rather be playing outside than doing anything like his letters or numbers.”
Maybe it is too soon to worry. I find spring and summer to be a time for physical growth, and one can assume that mental growth is taking place, too. And playing, especially with other children, lays a good foundation for “kindergarten readiness,” see below.
KN, CA, writes that when her grandchildren stay over, they don’t seem to eat well at dinnertime.
This is a common complaint with young children, whose appetites vary day-by-day and time of day. They may fuss over your favorite meals, or ”aren’t hungry” by the time dinner is served. If you can’t adjust the meals or the times of the meals to work for the children, preparing healthy snacks for them will give them the day’s nutrients they need.
Low-fat, low-sugar, and added veges, fruits, and protein foods can be accomplished with a little planning ahead. For meals, a rule of thumb is to have a protein, and fruit or vege, and a carbo (bread, cracker, grain, noodle, etc.). Continue reading
I was saddened by stories (www.grandparents.com) of those who have been denied seeing their grandchildren by their own adult child and/or their adult child’s partner. I would suggest we step back and take a long look at the expectations we have of family (i.e., as a teacher of parents, one pet peeve I have had is when parents say to their young children, “You will get married,” “You will have children.” Do they say that because they are anxious that their children may not want to do this and need “programming?” Or because they want grandchildren to indulge?) Maybe the problems are long-standing. In whatever context, these type of expectations are presumptuous.
I would approach building my relationships with my grandchildren Continue reading
LM, San Francisco, writes: My husband loves having our grandchildren visit, but he doesn’t really get down to their level and do things with them. They are 6 and 9. He’s retired now, and I’d like to encourage him to be more active with them.
Have you spoken with him about the subject? Children used to be women’s domain, and men’s and women’s roles were assumed—but many men are now very active with their children. Your grandchildren are at wonderful ages—before the teen years bring new preoccupations. Assuming “granddad” is interested in being more actively involved with them, suggest some things Continue reading
“To spank or not to spank” can elicit heated discussion, but is that the wrong question? It depends on what you want to achieve. Maybe the question is: How can we be in charge and discipline so that children learn and eventually do what is expected of them—and grow up to be happy, healthy, responsible, productive members of society?
Guidelines from the Positive Discipline Parenting and Classroom Management Model (www.positivediscipline.com) articulate some specific objectives of discipline they find consistent with helping children to grow to become responsible adults: Continue reading
Bullying has been with us, it seems, forever, and schools are the opportune places where the “bullies” have operated. Parents and grandparents have long faced the effects of bullying, but It has become increasingly obvious to others, including lawmakers, that bullying is damaging and not acceptable in schools.
Grandparents have a unique opportunity to help their grandchildren in ways that busy parents may not be able to do. We often see an overview of family dynamics and can see the effects of the media overload, instant-gratification, but not-enough-attention, that plagues our families. Visits to “grandma’s house,” where we can take time for 2-way communication with the children, can be a rejuvenating experience that will help children as they interact with the world.
Goldie Hawn’s Foundation’s program, MindUP (www.thehawnfoundation.org/curriculum), addresses the onslaught of media, the effects of parents working and being away from home many hours of the day, and the resulting lack of ability and opportunity to focus on inner growth and self awareness. Continue reading
Liz from NM asks: I will be retiring next month. My daughter and her family live about 15 minutes away, and I’m concerned that my time and energy will be gobbled up by family needs. I see my daughter exhausted from her job as chief cook and bottle washer, with three children–and my instinct is to help in any way I can. But I also look forward to doing things that I’ve never had time to do before.
Congratuations on your retirement! If you can look ahead, think about the days, times, and the amount of times you will typically want and need for yourself (I found that having a structure in my week was helpful–both to me and for setting limits on outside demands Continue reading
ü Young children are developing trust and forming their “point of view” at very early ages
ü Young children learn from how the adults interact with each other as well as how the adults interact with them
ü When you believe in a child, they can believe in themselves (If an adult says “bad boy,” or “bad girl,” the child thinks adults must be right)
ü Young children often want to do more than they can physically do Continue reading
Jean from NC writes: My husband and I watch my grandson after school until his parents pick him up after work. He brings homework that my son expects him to finish at our house, but he just wants to run around with the dog and a ball.
To begin, why homework at six? And how regimented is his school day? “Running around” may be the best thing for him, physically and emotionally. I like the Waldorf School approach (Wikipedia), where learning is through play until about 7, where “reading and writing” are introducted, Continue reading
Use technology to keep in touch: